Why Are There So many Old, White, Single Men in Phnom Penh, Cambodia?
That was what I typed into Google after one morning waking around Cambodia’s capital, Phnom Penh. And I should have already known the answer.
Walking down any street in Phnom Penh where there is at least one touristy restaurant, hostel or hotel, you’ll see table after table occupied by a single, old, white man. No joke, at more than one restaurant, every street-side table had one old white man sitting there, staring at me as I walked down the busy street, sipping on their coffee. While I took note of the disproportional number of old, white single males in other Cambodian cities, it is so much more noticeable here in the capital city.
So what’s their deal? It’s not to appreciate the rich culture, or to learn about the heartbreaking history, or for the delicious food or impressive sights. Nope. You might have guessed, it’s for sex.
Why Cambodia?
Over the last decade, countries like Thailand and the Philippines have cracked down on sex tourism and sex trafficking, so the creeps found another poor country to exploit with their currency: Cambodia. The combination of those crackdowns and Cambodia’s next-to-nothing infrastructure, lack of law or law enforcement, new and corrupt government, and the dire economic situation of everyday people, makes Cambodia the new sex tourism locale in Asia.
It’s hard to pinpoint any numbers on how many women, boys and girls are being bought for sex in Cambodia. I’ve found numbers that range from 20,000-150,000. Most alarmingly, the UN’s Children’s Rights Committee estimates that one third of those exploited for sex is under 18 years old. UNICEF states that 37 % of the victims trafficked for sexual exploitation in Cambodia are children.
Children are sold by their parents to pimps or brothels. Kidnapped. They are approached on the street by foreigners. Women are trafficked after accepting seemingly legitimate jobs at salons, bars or restaurants only to be held captive in brothels. And some see selling their body as the only opportunity to feed themselves or care for their family. A UN Committee on the Rights of the Child report talked about the new growing industry of “orphanage tourism”, where children in institutions and orphanages are being exploited by foreigners who pose and employees or volunteers.
It’s sickening, heartbreaking and leaves a sense of hopelessness.
While there are many international NGOs that are trying to put a dent in the problem in Cambodia, they are often met with resistance or lack of action from local law enforcement. There’s a story about an NGO that conducted an operation that rescued 30 women and girls from a brothel, but the next day, masked and armed men re-abducted the rescued women and girls from the safe house. And that was that.
Many times the police or other government officials are being paid in order to allow these operations to continue. And the money is just too good I guess. There is an appearance of doing something, but it’s not enough. According to data from Action Pour Les Enfants, a Cambodian NGO, 115 foreigners were convicted of child sex crimes between 2003 and 2014. From the sense that I got, I’d guess more than 115 foreigners are buying children for sex EVERY WEEK in Cambodia. Like I said, it’s sickening, heartbreaking and leaves a sense of hopelessness.
Why this is not sex work
Let me be clear, I’m not shaming legal adult sex workers, in a fair system, where power lies with the person providing the service. But this system is not fair. In Cambodia, even in the legal sex industry between adults, the power imbalance is so blatant, so devastating to the country and the women who find themselves in these situations. It’s just wrong. It’s exploiting a power that these men don’t deserve to have. That they have only because of where they were born and what currency they have in their pocket.
These men are using their money, their western power to exploit others in dire situations. The demand is the problem, not the supply. And I can’t stand the argument that you can’t make a dent in the demand. When I see these men, they are anything but ashamed or trying to hide. Everyone knows why they’re there, but yet they’re still there. It’s not uncommon to see an old, white man arm and arm with a young, beautiful Thai or Cambodian woman walking proudly down the street. Everyone assumes he’s paying her, and in all likelihood, that’s the case.
They don’t feel shame for buying people, at least not enough to make them not do it. They don’t fear any kind of prosecution or consequences. They fear nothing. They’re living like kings with women, boys and girls at their disposal. How are they not ashamed? How are they sitting there having a beer, smiling in the afternoon before they go and buy a person (and sometimes a child) for $3.
I don’t understand these men’s mentalities. It’s not authentic, these women do not like them. But it seems like a never-ending cycle. These men probably don’t do well back home but still feel entitled to get what they want, so they come here, throw down as little as $5 and have a beautiful woman at their beckon call. It may not be authentic, but I’m sure it builds up their ego. Then they go back to England or Australia or America and strike out again (not surprising that someone doesn’t want to get with a person that sees other people as objects to buy). So back they come to southeast Asia to get their ego fill yet again for just a few bucks.
Travel is more than just some pretty pictures
It was pretty devastating walking around Phnom Penh. Needless to say, I didn’t stay there long. And I left with a pit in my stomach, without the ability or strong enough will to do something about this sweeping, expansive problem that is hard to actually wrap your head around. I felt like this was an important piece to write.
Travel isn’t only about incredible beach views, fantastic cultural experiences or magical mountain explorations, it’s also an eye opening experience to the darkside of humanity that may not be apparent in everyday life from home.
My time in Phenom Phen was definitely that kind of experience. We hear about sex trafficking and sex tourism, I’ve written grad papers about it, but seeing it in real life, walking the streets as children without shoes try to sell you a bracelet for 15 cents, thinking what their future holds and if they’re one of those children I’ve read about, is a completely different thing. Seeing women sitting outside of dingy, dark bars with dead expressions in their eyes, waiting, hit me deep. These are also valuable experiences that come from travel, all be it difficult experiences, but maybe even more valuable than the comfortable ones.
19 Comments
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Well Kacey Dominguez, I do agree that alot of old white men monger around Phnom Penh because I’ve unfortunately seen them while shopping and eating at restaurants.You have a right to your opinion just as everyone does,so here’s my opinion.I’ve traveled throughout the world including Phnom Penh where I’ve been retired for seven years now being a retired white American.Not once have I ever been disrespectful towards women in any country,a fact nor have I indulged in racy activities, period.Useing women for anything has never crossed my mind, to be honest.I’m just as sickened by any foreigners taking advantage of women in different countries,seen that too many times.Your emphasis is solely upon OLD WHITE MEN so that says you rush to judgement on one particular race.Phnom Penh has every ethnic group under the sun of younger and older however I respect your opinion upon WHITE OLD MEN.Your comments signalling out only the Caucasian race is racist behavior on your end and I respect your opinion on that also.I’m very passive always looking for the best in someone never the worst.My days consist of having an early morning breakfast I made at my apartment,and shopping at an open market for fresh fruits and vegetables once per week.I’m always quiet and respectful, never obnoxious unto others.My nights are spent at my apartment reading about science and history instead of being parked at some bar stocking women like many do, not my thing.I’ve never visited the killing fields never would.Its a sickening tourist attraction,as I see it.More than once I’ve shopped at regular super markets and seen people at the cashier struggling to pay for food or open markets for that matter.I’ve handed cashiers money and paid for all food items people had picked out.Not once did I ever linger waiting for a thank you because I didn’t need or want any.Instead I just walked away and said nothing.I recall a family of five at a super market last year when I paid for all of their food.I left the business.A man ran up to me and was smiling.He said how can I ever repay you for your kindness? I said you just paid me with a smile and that’s payment enough for me.Maybe this sounds like a novel to you but it’s not.The day I cannot help another person in need will be the day I die.Until then I’ll share the wealth of kindness.Remember Kacey it’s not what anyone gives in life but instead the positive impression they leave behind that matters most.There’s never been any color in my world never will be. Rehashing the history of the Khmer Rouge is something I’d never do with any Cambodian because they don’t need to be reminded of the devastation they lived the part.Thank you for allowing me to post my opinion on your blog Kacey. Respectfully yours, Robert
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Jamie
We are in Cambodia at the moment and just left Phnom Penh and we were totally shocked to see how many creepy old white dudes there were everywhere. We had the exact same concerns and experience as you and it’s so devastating!
Hank
I’m shocked at how judgemental the article is. What makes the writer jump to the conclusion that all these old white men are there for prostitution? Some may be, but more are there just to eat lunch or have a beer. Some may be retirees, others work for international organizations, in education or as consultants in the private sector. It’s terrible that people can’t go on about their daily business without being judged and condemned by someone who knows nothing about them.
joyce
I agree, these women should should be working long hot shifts in sweat-shops under a Chinese task-master so that western women can take advantage of their privilege and wealth to enjoy cheap fast fashion.
John Taliburton
I can understand your feelings.
Just a few inaccuracies. While there is sex trafficking most of those old white men you see are paying far more than $5 for the girls. And generally those girls you see with old white men are not girls that are trafficked but willing participants in the exchange. Generally they are paying $30-$80 to the girl for the night.
Many of the girls you see with Westerners can earn the equivalent salary of an optometrist or engineer. Not all are innocent and not all are victims. Some are victims and some just plain greedy and many are both.
James William Dumar
Why did you not report what you saw to competent authorities? Human trafficking is taken quite seriously in Cambodia!
Perhaps what you say you saw was coloured by agism and racism.
steve
you contradict yourself. One minute saying $3 for a girl then saying as low as $5, which is it? get your facts correct. You also write as if every old white man does this, i find it hard to believe that every single old white person you saw was at a bar drinking let alone with his arms around a young Asian girl. Is it OK for younger white or indeed any color men to be with young Asian girls that they have paid for sex? Is it OK for younger men to pay for sex with children? You do not mention this at all? All in i find your article pretty poor.
Brownyn Mary Lhonneux
Great article! I live in Cambodia and I totally agree with your views. There’s even a website populated with those creeps called “Cambodia expats online”, full of old sexpats trading tips about “the best places” if you know what I mean.
Fortunately there’s a few decent websites and forums like this,
http://www.khmer440.com/chat_forum/search.php?search_id=newposts
with educated, considerate professionals mostly married members.
Keep up the good work!
Brownyn
Daily Allowance
Hi Kacey! I really liked your article, you expressed very well the frustration that I’m feeling. I’ve only been two days in Cambodia to find myself typing the same question in Google. It’s veeeeeeeery disturbing and I agree that you can’t just roll up to one of these men and confront them – as that is my first impulse. Now, of course, I agree that’s not EVERY single one of them (and I think you stated this!) but I swear you can tell right from wrong, its called human instinct! You have to come here and see it with your own eyes. It’s ignorant to have never visited this place and deny what you are talking about. As I can’t actively do much while I am here other than support against it, I’ve decided to donate to this organisation ECPAT Cambodia – https://www.ecpat.org/donate , it looks like they are getting the work done although it sounds very hard when there is so much corruption and poverty going on. It’s sickening that wealthier and educated people use this as an opportunity to satiate their gross needs.
Michael Stewart
I must admit that I am opposed to sex trafficking and the exploitation of children. However, I do think it is wrong to tell women how they and cannot earn money. Generally, the young women who are with older men are with them out for financial. She gets cash to send to her family and he gets to strut around like he is Jon Travolta with a hot young babe who acts like she is crazy about him. I have no problem with this arrangement as long as both parties are doing this willingly. The problem comes when one of the parties involved is being forced or is under age. This type of arrangement happens in Western countries too. Look at sugar daddy sites where hot college girls will look for older successful men who can help her pay for college in exchange for her companionship. It is basically the same thing. Why is it ok for a western woman to do this but it is not ok for a Cambodian? Yes, the Cambodian might be asking for a lot less than the Western women would but in Cambodia they can earn as much in one month as they could in an entire year.
Kacey Dominguez
I agree with you, consent of both parties is key, but it also involves racial, cultural, socioeconomic, gender and many other factors that complicate this issue. I was trying to get across how it felt walking that city, seeing what I saw, reading what I read. It felt and appeared very different than other kinds of companionship/sex work not only seen in the western world. I’ve seen it blatantly in many places. There was just something different about it in Phnom Penh.
Jordan
This post was written a few years ago but it’s my first night in Phnom Pehn tonight and its been a real shock. I’ve travelled developing countries extensively and it is not more obvious than it is here in Phnom Pehn. Thank you for writing this article.
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